Do it for your neighbor’s cousin’s girlfriend.
January 25, 2010 at 12:29 am (Massage)
Living with chronic pain is exhausting. It gradually wears on a person until there is simply no energy left to do something about it. We know that getting a massage or taking a vacation or even getting in for a regular check up with the doctor would be really good for us. But do we schedule that appointment? No. Life is just too busy, especially if we are busy caring for children, parents, or managing a big project. We put ourselves last on the list of caretaking duties. We get tired, irritable, just downright unhappy. But what if you knew that your happiness, or lack thereof, affected everyone around you? Well, it does. In fact, not only does it affect those around you, but also those around them, and those around them. Happiness seems to spread like a contagion and researchers repeatedly find clusters of happy and unhappy people:
Clusters of happy and unhappy people are visible in the network, and the relationship between people’s happiness extends up to three degrees of separation (for example, to the friends of one’s friends’ friends). People who are surrounded by many happy people and those who are central in the network are more likely to become happy in the future. Fowler and Christakis, 2008
So, when you are putting yourself last on that list of people to make happy, you are actually perpetuating their unhappiness.
…clusters of happiness result from the spread of happiness and not just a tendency for people to associate with similar individuals. A friend who lives within a mile (about 1.6 km) and who becomes happy increases the probability that a person is happy by 25% (95% confidence interval 1% to 57%). Similar effects are seen in coresident spouses (8%, 0.2% to 16%), siblings who live within a mile (14%, 1% to 28%), and next door neighbours (34%, 7% to 70%). Effects are not seen between coworkers. Fowler and Christakis, 2008
“Effects are not seen between coworkers.” I would love to hear your thoughts about that!
Conclusions People’s happiness depends on the happiness of others with whom they are connected. This provides further justification for seeing happiness, like health, as a collective phenomenon. Fowler and Christakis, 2008
So pick up the phone right now and make that appointment. Take some days off. Start treating yourself better and dozens of people will benefit from your good work. Earlier this week I received the best testimonial yet. My client said “I was singing yesterday. I haven’t caught myself singing in – well, I don’t know how long!” That made me happy. Oh! See? It works!
